Look inside rather than out ***

Not long ago, there was a study about relativity: a person who buys a car for $30,000 has no problem spending an extra $1,000 on leather seats. But a person who buys something for $20 won't buy an additional item for $10. In other words, relative to a huge expense, what's a little more? Relative to a small expense, one probably won't put out a little extra to get twice as much.

Unfortunately, this is how we work throughout our lives.

We judge ourselves and others relative to where we're at and who we surround ourselves with. It's important that we examine where we're coming from. Wherever we come from, it cannot be relative to anyone or anything but ourselves.

For example, when a person is jealous, they are looking at where they are relative to the person or situation they are jealous of. Why is he there and I'm not? I should be getting this, and I'm not. It doesn't bother me when a business owner on another continent has three cars. It bothers me that my next door neighbor has three cars.

Another example: In a country like Vietnam, the average American on an average American salary (even in today's economy) would live like a king. That doesn't make him royalty. And on the same salary in Russia, that average American could barely put food on the table. Does where a person live change his or her intrinsic value? No, you say. Obviously. But why isn't it obvious in our daily lives?

Judgment is a relative thing. You don't judge a child for doing something wrong when they don't know any better. You judge someone who you think should know better. We judge others and ourselves based on relativity of what we perceive to be fair.

But there's even a bigger picture than that. If we don't have what we want in life, we can direct our anger in one of two directions, at ourselves or the universe. Either I didn't push, do, or say enough, or I pushed, did and said and I wasn't granted what I wanted. But that's not how our brain works.

It is possible to look at others for inspiration and modeling, meaning you can look to your teacher to figure out what more you can do, even try to walk the walk as they do.

But more often than not, we fall into the trap of relativity.

Perhaps the worst part of living life in this state of relativity is that we allow our moods and our energy to be determined by who we are around and what we are doing.

Where we are at in life shouldn't — no, can't — have anything to do with anyone else but us. Instead of asking, "Am I as good/smart/strong/fat/thin/rich as he is," I need to ask, "Am I as good/smart/strong/healthy/rich as I could be?"

Then and only then can we take action to bridge the gap between where we are and where we should be.

Take charge and remove the hooks from the people and things around us. We can stop comparing, measuring, assessing our value based upon those around us. When you have the tendency to judge, take down the measuring stick and look inside rather than out.