50/50

Our relationships are merely just a balance of give and take. The ideal balance is complete, meaning 50/50, but most of our relationships aren’t balanced. We’re either giving or taking too much. And in some cases, it’s a natural imbalance. A child is bound to take more from their parent than they can give back. A student will take more from their teacher than they can give – but it’s supposed to be that way.

In most of our relationships, it’s a tug of war. Sometimes its 70/30, other times its 20/80. But the question is, how willing are we to let the imbalance persist? Are we consciously taking? Are we intentionally allowing someone to take from us?

We are way too quiet in this tug of war, because everything in our mind is relative.
We’ve made certain things acceptable and certain things unacceptable.
“I’m willing to take this kind of abuse from my boss but not from my coworker.”
“I’m really into this guy so I’ll take his condescension because I want the chance to be with him.”

So what’s really wrong with it, if eventually the abuse will result in reward?

Because we’re giving away our light.

We’ll give our light away and live in hell for 2 years for the chance of being happy in 5.
We have to start taking control over our light. We cannot allow other people or situations to make us happy, sad, fulfilled, or rejected.

Our energy needs to be independent of those people and things around us. Independence doesn’t mean we should live without parents, teachers, children friends or partners. In each of our relationships there will be one giver and one taker at any given moment. But in every moment, the roles of giver and taker have to change. There needs to be an effort to work towards that state of 50/50.

There are people in this world who go to work and their sole focus is to look good in front of their boss so they can get a promotion. Those people have given up their independence. When their boss gets fired, where is their light? Gone. Where is their potential for growth? Gone. Out the door, with their boss, to whom they willingly gave over their light.

You cannot base your success or goals on other people or situations. But you can be independent, own your energy, do whatever it takes in the position you’re in to get closer to your own inner power and care about other people. Everything else will fall into place.

That’s not to say we should lock everyone out so no one can hurt us. We want to be independent, but not alone. Being independent means no one can hurt me. I have strength and I’m not afraid to be open with people and share with them. No matter what people do to me I will be ok. It may hurt, but it won’t scar because I own my energy.

Look for ways you’re giving your energy away. And look for ways you take from others’ energy. Be real. Be honest. And seek balance. Let’s even out the scales.

What is a Family?

Families are who you love. Our families all “look” different and it's always been so. A family care-giving unit might consist of a couple; a mother, father and children (or same sex as we are seeing more of); a single parent and child; grandparent and grandchildren; a sibling group; a circle of friends; or however that family defines itself. Families are the foundation of society. It's where we come into the world, are nurtured and given the tools to go out into the world, capable and healthy—or we aren't.  While families have the greatest potential for raising healthy individuals, they can also wound their members in places that will never heal. When families break down and fail to provide the healthy nurturing we need, the effects impact not only our own lives, but also our communities.  In other words, we all pay for unhealthy families.  If we ignore the suffering, we suffer the consequences, including: * Alienation and Fear, as our neighbourhoods turn into places where we no longer feel safe * Violence and Crime * Lost Productivity * The costs of medical care for victims, policing, courts and prisons * The costs of a social support system to deal with the fallout from dysfunctional family relationships LET'S LOVE ONE ANOTHER!

Most relationships are based on selfish desire, where the partner or sibling or friend only worry about their own happiness. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. The problem is life is based on paradoxes.

If we seek happiness for ourselves we receive chaos instead. Yet, when we strive to make others happy, we ourselves receive happiness. The more we share with others, the more is shared with us.

Yes, there is a balance. No, we are not meant to become doormats. Learning when enough is enough is another topic, but it’s enough now that you notice those situations where it’s all about you.

This is the secret of happiness. Now you know. Today, put your knowing into action.