In Gratitude - A Story of Ego

Last night when I was working late, a young couple started yelling and screaming below my window. Curious I observed them in their anger, only because of what the girl was saying I wanted to make sure she was OK: “I want to die.” “I want someone to come out of that building and shoot you in the head” “Get away from me” "You are going to find me dead in the morning" 
He throws her phone and camera to the ground which I hear break into pieces. 
She yells “You just broke my camera and my phone!” "You are such an idiot and a loser!" “You’ve ruined my life.” “You are a loser and a drunk who can’t even finish college” “Admit that you are addicted to alcohol" ….  

This got him pissed and he started screaming back. “You want to die,  I want to die too! Let’s kill ourselves together. Let's kill ourselves together!” “I’m not a drunk and I'm not addicted to alcohol.” (As he completely slurs every word) ...

Then she started attacking his family. “You are just like your loser family and your loser alcoholic dad …”  

Then he chimed in …  "F-ck you!" "Who are you? It's like I don't know this girl" (I thought it was interesting that he asked this question as she was screaming and freaking out - it's her pain body taking over, mixing with his) “You are just a little princess bitch who gets everything she wants and you wouldn’t have anything if your Dad didn’t work. Your family would be poor and living on the street.”  ...

Then she says …. “I don’t get everything I want. I hate you get away from me. Give me my sweater! Why are you not giving me my stuff?”  “You are going to find me dead! Dead on the street in the morning. I want to die!”  ...

Then he threw their key on the ground, which broke.  ...

She yelled at him - “Is that our key? Why did you break our key to the room? You are such an idiot. I hate when you are drunk.” ...

As the conversation got more and more intense and angry, I realized I was witnessing two pain bodies hungrily attacking each other, searching for more juicy tidbits to feed their ever growing egos with pain nuggets to hurt each other with. The ego’s were desperately fighting with each other, tearing down each other with hurt, and despite it, the girl would not run away … she stayed there and took the pain… and the boy would not let her go without following her…..  

Then if by miracle an older disabled woman was walking down the street. She said: “Excuse me. Let’s not fight anymore. There was a girl killed just down the street in the parking lot a year ago, I don’t want it to happen again. Are you ok girl?” The girl hesitantly said yes … in a tone that clearly said no. The boy immediately responded… after “We love each other very much. I love my girlfriend.” “Give her a hug then. I want to see it.” The woman said. He hugged her, but she did not hug back. “There’s no reason to fight like that. And I think there are people in these offices, see the light? You don’t want them to call the police.” The woman informed them.

The couple left right after, but I was left in my head thinking about the intensity that the pain bodies were putting themselves through.  I was able to see it from a distance, and the separation helped me see the bigger picture. I realized that I’ve lost it like those two before … blaming each other for each other’s problems. They were not looking at themselves or their inflamed egos to blame. For example, the boy obviously had issues. He denied he had any problem with alchohol, his pain body mind telling him he doesn’t; he is blind to his own unconsciousness.

Take a look in your own life or in others to see how pain body egos attach and make elaborate stories to make us believe. Kind of what’s going on with our government?  Smoke and Mirrors! Wake up and remind yourself that you are not your pain body or your EGO. Your Ego was created in your mind and if you detach from it you will be in source. So take away the pain, take away the fights, take away the judgment of others and yourself, take away the blame, and you will be free of your egoic mind.

~More Later Lovers ~

In Gratitude,

Elana Baked a Banana Cake 4YA Greene